


All of Me, for You

by Saenda



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: A Bit of Fluff, Although I have a hard time at it..., Angst, Cuddles, Damen being the understanding and loving man he is, Demons, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Halvik is probably OOC for the sake of the story, Laurent blushing TM, M/M, Modern AU, Nightmares, POV Laurent (Captive Prince), The Regent is a demon asshole and we all hate him, Visions, dying (but not really)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2019-06-19 19:12:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15516621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saenda/pseuds/Saenda
Summary: As long as he could remember, Laurent was cursed with visions of the future. Cursed because when they appeared in his dreams, it was to announce the death of someone close to him.He wakes one day with the knowledge that it is soon to be Damen's turn. Damen who's been there for him for so long and with who he managed to rebuild his happiness.So faith can shove it! Because there is no way Laurent is about to let it happen without him doing something about it. He'll do absolutely anything to change that future, even if it involves his own soul.





	1. Chapter 1

The streets were busy looking; various noises of cars passing through and passersby walking and talking filled the air. Sitting on a bench near a bus station, Laurent impatiently checked his cellphone for the umpteenth time in the last ten minutes, wondering how much longer he’d be waiting there.

He was vaguely aware of the background noise, concentrating on each one of them in a force of habit; the giant screen above a shop displaying the news of the day, describing how there had been a violent fire the previous day in one of the nearest neighbourhoods. The idle and annoying chitchat of the people waiting for the bus. A girl wearing a revealing red dress laughing obnoxiously. The sound of a police car far off in the distance, probably chasing after someone.

Laurent sighed, once more checking his phone for any new texts. His expression scrunched in annoyance when it was as silent and without news as it could be.

Damen was supposed to meet him here half an hour ago. They were supposed to go to school together, just as Damen suggested, but seeing as how his doofus of a giant animal boyfriend kept silent the last five times Laurent texted him to know where he was or why he wasn’t answering, Laurent guessed he might have to go alone after all or he would be late for his next class.

It wasn’t like Damen not to answer, but Laurent guessed he might have been held off by his step-brother he kept insisting on visiting. Why Damen did, Laurent would never understand. From Laurent’s point of view, it was obvious Kastor wasn’t too fond of Damen and did his best to either be a nuisance to Damen or to Laurent, depending on Kastor’s mood.

Today might be annoying Laurent day.

Laurent stood, adjusting his bag on his shoulder, getting himself ready to leave as he opened his phone one last time to text Damen he would go without him after all, and that they would see each other back at the apartment, when Laurent spotted a figure on the other side of the street waving at him. Judging at how giant and dark it looked compared to everyone else around, Laurent knew it to be his boyfriend, a goofy and apologetic smile on his face as he made his way through the crowd to get to the light and cross the street.

Laurent didn’t smile back and instead crossed his arms, displaying how annoyed he still was with Damen’s tardiness. He didn’t move, however, which he knew would be telling enough for Damen to know that it would be alright in the end.

Laurent watched as the pedestrian light turned almost red, warning the people crossing the street to either hurry or stop. Damen didn’t pay much attention to it and began crossing the street at that exact time. Laurent felt his blood turn suddenly cold as the light turned green for the cars, Damen not noticing it, too engrossed in getting to Laurent, and watched as a car already speeding turned the corner and headed for the street light Damen ran across.

Laurent didn’t have time to warn Damen. He only had time for his expression to turn horrified, confusing Damen, who turned his head towards the car the moment it hit him. It sent him flying and Laurent was rooted to the spot as he watched Damen’s body land on the ground like a ragged doll, motionless once he did.

Heart stopping in his throat, skin going paler than usual, Laurent willed himself to move as he heard the horrifying gasps of the people around him, running to where Damen had landed. He pushed anyone that came in his way in his hurry to get to Damen, heart beating in his throat, doing all he could to push back the taste of bile already making its way on his tongue.

Laurent wasn’t a man of faith, but as he kept pushing his way through the crowd, he couldn't help himself praying, _praying, **praying**_ that Damen was all right, that his giant and strong body had been enough to protect him. Surely he was too much of a barbarian to be defeated by this, surely he would be fine!

When he finally made his way to the front, Laurent froze. What color he had left in his skin disappeared entirely and his hands twitched. He registered in the back of his mind the need to cover his mouth - in shock, in fright, in horror, maybe also to stop his heart that threatened to leap from his throat. But he couldn't move, couldn't think, couldn't...

Sirens blaring brought him back and Laurent threw himself next to Damen, his boyfriend's name leaving his lips in a shout.

“Damen!!!” 

He was surprised to find his voice as he barely registered the car hitting Damen not even stopping, keeping its course, and a police car turning around the corner. To Laurent, however, it now sounded muffled as he could only keep his attention solely on his unmoving boyfriend splashed in blood.

Oh no _no no no no_!!!

Laurent gathering Damen into his arms, ignoring how the blood stained his own clothes.

“Damen, Damen answer me!”

Damen’s eyes kept stubbornly closed, expression twisted in pain, unmoving, just like the rest of his body. He was soft and slack, the impression of a ragged doll in Laurent’s mind all the more vivid as he shook Damen to wake him.

“Come on, Damen, wake up!”

Frantically, hands trembling, he searched for a pulse, on his neck, on his wrist, the panic only rising as he failed to spot it.

"You cannot do this to me!" Laurent accused, voice shaking.

Not his voice alone. His whole body couldn't stop shaking. He felt disconnected, his surroundings like cotton, the only thing real currently in his arms. But it was slipping away, Damen was slipping away, and Laurent had no idea what to do! There was so much blood and every angle in Damen's body felt wrong and he wouldn't wake, just wouldn't wake up!

"You promised," Laurent sobbed more softly this time, a tear slipping through his guard. "You said you wouldn't leave. You said you'd stay by my side no matter what."

His voice broke as he buried his head in Damen's neck.

"What am I supposed to do now?"

A second sound of sirens blared farther away, approaching, but Laurent knew it was already too late.

* * *

Shaking, tears streaming down his face, Laurent was suffocating. He attempted to turn around, but found his movements constricted. Panicked, his breathing picked up and he shot his eyes open, waking in a start. The panic rose as he attempted to locate himself in the dark. Still unable to move, he began struggling, mixed feelings of fear and utter pain and sadness submerging him.

In his struggle, the sheets of his bed untangled from around his body, but Laurent was too dazed to realise what happened to him. Instead, he palpated the mattress next to him, only to find it empty and cold. A broken sound escaped his mouth. Laurent frantically stood, stumbling as he reached for the door.

Damen… Damen! Where was Damen? He couldn’t be gone, this couldn’t be real, this couldn’t…

Another broken sound begged to leave Laurent’s lips, but he swallowed it down this time, having the sense to keep some semblance of control, even if his head pounded and his legs wobbled and his stomach threatened to spill whatever content it might have – which might be none at all.

It didn't hit him until he was downstairs in frantic footsteps, the soft music coming from the radio reaching his ears the moment his feet left the last step. Laurent rounded the corner and there he was: his back to Laurent, Damen was preparing breakfast, making what smelled like pancakes and swaying his body to the rhythm of the music. He was humming and singing softly, a few of the lyrics discernable from time to time.

_My arms are open for you look at me now_

_Baby if you want you got me_

_I know you're broken darling I won't let you down_

_Cause baby I've been waiting for you_

Laurent's legs suddenly felt like lead as relief slammed into him with full force and it was all it took for him not to collapse on the floor right there. Damen was _alive_. Damen was fine, breathing, having a _pulse_. He was dancing, cooking and singing their favourite song.

It had felt so, so real! The way he'd experienced the whole scene, Laurent wouldn't have categorized it as a dream. And this thought brought along with it another set of panic, this time stronger as he frantically attempted to recall every detail of his dream.

How had Damen died? He'd been hit. Hit by what? Laurent had pushed to get to him. Pushed who? Laurent was also sure he'd heard a noise, a strident one, what had it been?

Headache only stronger, he closed his eyes tightly, frustrated to be unable to remember when it had just happened. He had to! He had to remember, he couldn't let any detail slip away, especially not the main and most important ones!

Laurent must have made a noise, because suddenly Damen was not singing anymore and Laurent could feel two hands on each of his shoulders, supporting him and giving him strength.

"Laurent?"

Damen's worried voice reached him and Laurent reopened his eyes, lifting them up to watch his boyfriend observing him back in concern.

"Laurent, what's wrong?"

His tone was so gentle, it was like a balm. But it wasn't what Laurent needed at the moment. If anything, it only helped the panic in him settle harder as his dream escaped him faster, as if he tried to grasp water. A layer of guilt was added as Laurent felt Damen's hand on his cheek, tender and loving, wiping the trails of tears from earlier.

Laurent leaned into the touch, appreciating the coolness of Damen’s hand.

"God, you’re so warm! Laurent, talk to me, please! Are you ok? You’re so pale!"

For a moment, Laurent considered telling him everything, but he reconsidered immediately, the thought making him nauseous. Not that Damen wouldn't understand, quite the contrary. That was the problem. Damen _would_ understand and Laurent realised he couldn't do this to Damen.

If Laurent said anything, it would only make things worse; trying to prevent it would only make it happen all the more. Not only that, but Damen, sweet, gentle Damen, would constantly think about it. It would be torture!

Oh, he would hide his uneasiness from Laurent, but Laurent was no fool. He knew it would haunt Damen. Besides, Damen was incapable of truly hiding anything. He was an open book.

No, this was a cruel thing to do. So with a long sigh and all the calm he could muster, Laurent closed the small distance left between them and pressed against Damen for warmth - for strength.

"I'm sorry. Bad dream," Laurent said simply, head fitting in the crook of Damen's neck.

He was hit with a sense of dread as he did so and Laurent searched through that feeling for images, but none came to him. He cursed inwardly.

"Oh. Was it...?"

"No," Laurent interrupted dryly, hiding his expression.

He wanted to throw up suddenly.

Arms wrapped securely around him and Laurent relished in the comfort they offered.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Damen asked softly.

When Laurent shook his head, Damen hummed in understanding and laid his chin on the top of Laurent's head, swaying the both of them gently in an attempt to distract and comfort. His hand kept caressing Laurent’s cheek, running up to his hair and brushing it with a tenderness that made Laurent’s heart swell. Damen’s skin was cool to the touch, doing wonders to the headache whenever Damen placed his hand on his forehead.

Laurent was grateful. The giant animal had a heart of gold and most of the time, Laurent cursed him for it. But it was at times like these that Laurent knew he was in love with the man and that he cherished those precious moments.

"Alright. I'm almost done making pancakes. Do you need more time or is it okay if I go finish them?"

Laurent, on reflex, gently shoved Damen away.  Laurent knew he could have asked for more, he knew it would have been ok and that Damen was honest in his offer. But Laurent never could help himself. He pushed away on reflex, the guilt always present in the back of his mind.

Without a word, he went to sit at the kitchen table to observe Damen get back to cooking.

“Maybe it would be best if you got back to bed?” Damen asked before going back to his pancakes, joining Laurent at the table to pass his hand on Laurent’s forehead once more. “You really feel a little too warm.”

“I’ll be fine Damen.”

Damen sighed softly before he shrugged, knowing he couldn’t win against Laurent on this. Instead, he kissed the top of Laurent’s head before heading back to the stove. Laurent watched him leave, intently observing Damen’s back. And in that moment of normalcy, Laurent made himself a promise.

His visions always came true. This time, he would make sure it wouldn't happen, even if it meant defying destiny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work was based off a prompt I saw somewhere that went like this : "I sold my soul to bring you back to life after your untimely death and I only have a month left with you so I’m trying to make it count."
> 
> I thought it was a theme that could fit Laurent well, and you'll see soon what I'm planning, but I do hope I'm doing this character justice. I find Laurent so hard to write since he's such an organised person who's always ten steps ahead... If you ever think something's off, don't hesitate to tell me! I'm always looking for improvements :D


	2. Chapter 2

The first time it happened, Laurent had been 8 years old, and he'd also been powerless to prevent it. His mother had always been frail, frequently visiting the hospital. They always ended well, however, and she returned to their home with warmth and a smile on her face.

When she fell prey to illness once again, Laurent dreamed of her dying in the hospital bed, her smile and warmth all but gone forever. It frightened him when he woke up, unable to shake off how real it had felt. But the vision faded away quickly, making it hard for him to recall what he had seen, and he shrugged it off as nothing but a nightmare.

Weeks later, he was proven wrong when his mother, in her hospital bed, drew her last breath, surrounded by her family. The scenery slapped Laurent like a spray of freezing water and he recalled the entirety of his vision. It broke him, but then again, vision or no, how would he have been able to prevent a sickness? He realised fate merely had toyed with him and he cursed it for such a cruel game.

The second time, Laurent was 12 and more aware when the vision came to him. He remembered the feeling of realness in his supposed dream, how it left him shaken and unbelievably sad. When he woke, he immediately grabbed a notebook and a pen and proceeded to write down everything he remembered.

Unfortunately, it wasn't much. Just like the time he dreamed of his mother's death, the scene eluded him, escaping from his mind like smoke.

The main change, however, was that he remembered everything before the vision realised itself. As his father and his older brother Auguste prepared for a business trip, he begged them not to go, to stay home. He threw tantrums, threatened, manipulated, even tried to tell the truth to Auguste, but their father dismissed it all and forced the trip anyway.

The plane crashed a few days later and no one survived.

Laurent knew that it was his fault; he hadn't tried hard enough. So when his uncle became his guardian and came to "take care of him", Laurent accepted it as punishment.

The third time happened when Laurent was 17. This time, he let it unfold before his eyes without batting an eye. He watched as his uncle was murdered before him, not lifting a single finger to help. He wondered for a moment if he would be taken as well - his whole family was gone, after all - but ended up surviving the ordeal.

That was when he met Damen. Sweet Damen who came to his rescue, like a fucking knight in shining armour.

Damen was enamoured by Laurent almost immediately, but it took Laurent months before he could even begin to share a sliver of trust. Laurent couldn't help but feel he was cursed. He didn't deserve someone like Damen. And besides, the chances of Damen betraying him and hurting him were all too high as well.

But Damen proved him wrong, and here they were, five years later, living together in the house Laurent's parents left for him. It wasn't perfect – nothing in life was –, but it was more than Laurent could have ever hoped for.

And fate had to cruelly sneak back into his life to tear it apart once more. Of course, the deed wasn't done yet, but each time one of Laurent’s visions came, it always happened. Why would it be any different this time?

... Well fuck fate. Laurent wasn't about to let the sole happiness he'd regained after all those years be taken from him. He would fight it and make sure to win this time.

"I may have a solution for you."

Laurent's skin crawled as his whole being froze, muscles tensing and skin paling at the familiar voice that resounded behind him.

It couldn't be! It was impossible! Maybe he'd misheard and there was no one behind him.

Yes, that was the most logical explanation. He was so tired from the extra research he'd done on dreams and visions, along with his usual studies that were already demanding enough, that his brain had imagined the voice.

How else could he explain hearing his uncle when he was dead? Laurent had seen it with his own eyes, had watched as they murdered him and buried him.

But when he turned around slowly, there the man was, his sickening smirk plastered on his lips just like it was years ago.

Although now that the initial shock was gone, Laurent could tell that he looked not much like a man anymore and more like some sort of demonic appearance. His skin had a reddish tint to it, his blue eyes, the only thing that ever told people he and Laurent were related, now an electric paleness that could be described as _wrong_. His teeth even looked pointier as his smirk widened.

Laurent made sure that none of it transpired, but he was starting to get scared. Maybe he'd gone mad after all.

"Hello nephew."

Laurent said nothing, observing, waiting to know what his uncle was up to, _how_ he was even here to begin with.

"What, no heartfelt welcome? I'm wounded. You always were a frigid boy. It's sad to see that nothing has changed."

" _What_ are you?" Laurent hissed, the only thing he could manage.

The evil glint passing through his uncle's eyes did nothing to ease Laurent. His uncle knocked the walking stick he was holding on the ground and leaned on it.

"A demon, dear nephew. These days, I am known as the Regent in those parts of the world. Nice position. A good upgrade, all things considering. I could have held a grudge against you for doing _nothing_ , but in the end, I'm quite thankful you were useless. I'm more powerful than what I would have been in a measly human meatsuit."

This was ridiculous. Laurent was clearly dreaming. Demons didn't exist, no more than dinosaurs roamed the Earth. He was having a nightmare, which would explain why a 'demon' would wear his uncle's face. Laurent did just have a vision about Damen's death after all, so it was probably his mind reminding him of his previous failures. He wouldn't be surprised if the demon ended up taking the form of his mother, father and brother.

"Oh, no no no, I will do no such thing," the Regent said with a shrug. "I have unfortunately not acquired shapeshifting as of yet. A shame. It would have been an interesting ability to use on you."

Laurent started. He hated this. His uncle had always been steps ahead of him in the past. The fact that he could now read his mind only pushed him further ahead. Considering he was now supposedly a demon, it was disconcerting.

"If you really are a demon, then what do you want?" Laurent asked, unsure if he should be entertaining the creature instead of finding a way to wake up.

"Nephew, nephew... I thought you were smart, but it seems the years have softened you. Not only is it obvious that this is not a dream, but I already stated the reason of my visit earlier. Have you not been paying attention?"

Laurent searched in his mind and recalled the Regent's first words upon his arrival. _I may have a solution for you._

Laurent tensed, grasping the arm of the chair tighter, his whole skin prickling with danger. This was a bad idea. He shouldn't even listen to anything that creature had to say. Even if it was not a dream, years of reading had taught Laurent that demons had nothing but danger and despair to offer and that merely considering was an extremely bad idea in and of itself.

The fact that it had the form of his uncle didn't help either.

Laurent should dismiss it, find a way to make it disappear. However, a small corner of his mind, the desperate one, couldn't help but want to find out. What could the Regent offer him that could help Damen?

He shushed that part of his mind harshly.

"Why would I listen to anything your poisonous tongue has to say?" Laurent demanded with disdain.

"Because I have quite the solution for you. A way to save your beloved. Something to amend past actions, I suppose."

At this, Laurent laughed, the sound sarcastic and brief.

"As if I would believe you! You, trying to amend anything? Who do you take me for? You only cared about yourself and your pleasure in the past; now that you're a demon or whatever, I'm certain it hasn't changed. If anything, it worsened. So spare me, uncle."

The Regent wasn't deterred by the harsh words. Instead, his smirk widened.

"Well, you're right. I indeed would require something in exchange. But I would think it a small price to pay in order to save the person you seem to care about so much. What if I were to tell you that there is no way to prevent your vision?"

The dread settled in Laurent as he swallowed, eyes betraying his worry for a brief second before he locked it away. It was too late, however; his uncle had clearly seen it. Still, Laurent refused to believe it. He might not have succeeded in the past, but it had been one instance. The other two, he either couldn't have done anything or wouldn't.

He _would_ find a way to save Damen - _without_ his uncle.

"And what would I have to offer in exchange?" Laurent asked, the curiosity stronger still.

The Regent couldn't have looked more satisfied.

"Oh, nothing much. Your measly soul. I mean, compared to that giant you call a lover, I do believe it is not much asked. After all, your soul is already so tainted while his is so _pure_!” he answered with amusement. “And besides, you're already cursed. Removing you from this planet would only prevent other people suffering from your visions."

Laurent felt himself waver. Some part of him attempted to shake him, tell him that this wasn't true, but the rest of him shut it off quickly. Those were words Laurent had already told himself countless of times before. His uncle was right, Damen's soul was worth so much more than his.

But it didn't mean that Laurent wouldn't fight first. He had earned that happiness with Damen and he intended to keep it as long as he could.

"You can take your offer and shove it, uncle!" Laurent hissed in a snarl. "I _will_ find a way to save Damen, and I'll do it on my _own_!"

The Regent merely shrugged, unfazed by his nephew's fury.

"Suit yourself, nephew. But know that my offer still stands should you need it."

"You mons-" But before Laurent could finish, the Regent was gone, vanished into thin air. One moment he was there, and the other he'd disappeared, the same way he came.

"Laurent?"

Laurent started, whirling around to see Damen coming up the stairs, a questioning look all over his features. For a moment, Laurent paled - he hadn't heard the front door indicating Damen was back. Laurent wondered if Damen had heard everything - that, or if Laurent had imagined the whole ordeal after all and Damen had seen him talk to thin air.

But the way Damen regarded him with both simple worry and love, Laurent relaxed and settled with a neutral look.

"I heard you talking. Is there someone here?"

Laurent shook his head, pointing at his phone on the desk he'd been previously working.

"I was on the phone. Sorry, I might have spoken a little too loud."

Damen shook his head and moved forward to Laurent's side, placing comforting hands on his waist. Laurent relished the normalcy of it after such an otherworldly experience.

"Are you alright?" Damen asked softly, kissing Laurent's forehead. "You seem on edge lately. Ever since that nightmare you've had..."

Laurent didn't leave him time to finish. He slapped the hands away and stepped back with a hard expression, clamming up instantly. He didn't want to talk about it, didn't want Damen finding out...

"Everything's fine! You keep asking _that_ since the nightmare and it's going to drive me insane at some point, Damianos.  _Leave it_ _already!_ "

Damen's expression fell and hurt laced his features. Guilt twisted Laurent's insides at the sight; he knew Damen was doing his best to help, he knew Damen was being his usual gentle self. But it was too much for Laurent at the moment, when he was on the verge of losing all of it.

"I'm sor..."

Laurent lifted a hand to cut Damen in his apology. He rubbed his face with the other, sighing and looking away.

"No, just... I've had a busy week and I'm tired. Leave it, all right?"

It was as close as Damen would get to an apology and he would have to content himself with it.

Damen nodded and tried to reach for Laurent once more, but Laurent took a step back, shaking his head. Instead, he went back to the desk and gathered his books, making sure that the ones on dreams and visions were not visible, before he packed them in his bag. He shouldered it and gave Damen one last look.

"I need some time alone. I'll be at the library."

And on that note, he was gone, the guilt gnawing at him twice as hard as he was all too aware of Damen's miserable expression watching him as he left.

* * *

Laurent slammed his notebook in frustration, barely catching the furious cry that wanted to leave his lips. Damen was in the next room and Laurent didn't want him coming to inquire on his bad mood. It had already been a second difficult week, making things a little hard between them, and Laurent didn't think he could take another time Damen asking him if he was all right.

Laurent knew it was his fault alone. He was the one in the bad mood and he was the one doing nothing about it. Damen was just being his wonderful caring self, as always.

But this time Laurent couldn't rely on it, and the anxiety only grew stronger each day as he failed to remember the most important details of his vision, making it impossible for him to prevent it. How could he make sure that Damen didn't do what ultimately led to his death if he didn't know what it was?

At this rate, would he have to take the deal with his uncle?

No, no never! He would do something about it, he would save Damen and he would never have to think about the demon again! There was no way he'd sell his soul to that wicked creature!

"Hey Laurent?"

Laurent barely turned and hummed in acknowledgement as Damen carefully cracked the door open and poked his head in.

"I was wondering, would it be all right if we went to school together tomorrow? My first class was cancelled, so we'd start at about the same time. Since it's so rare that we get to go together, I thought it might be a good idea to enjoy it."

Laurent thought it over. He had planned to work on his vision again in the morning, so going to college early might not be a bad idea. Damen had also dealt with Laurent's bad mood for the last two weeks, so he deserved a break, and it would do Laurent some good to spend some time with Damen. Normalcy might give his brain a break.

He was about to say yes, but Damen apparently wasn't finished.

"I'd have to go to Kastor's first, though, but I'd be there on time. We could meet at the bus stop."

The air was knocked out of Laurent and he felt as if Damen had punched him in the gut. Images submerged him one by one, all so clear; he saw his cellphone, a red dress, a clock. He heard cars, sirens blaring, people talking. He watched as Damen got hit, then he pushed through a crowd before he got to Damen - Damen covered in blood, Damen broken down, Damen not breathing...

" ** _NO!!_** "

Damen started and opened the door a little more to take a step forward, a frown on his face.

"No I... I need to go to the library tomorrow morning, so I'll already be there!" Laurent exclaimed frantically, a hand to his forehead.

He felt hypersensitive, his skin prickling. He was aware of every movement in the room, and yet not at the same time, his eyes reliving Damen's broken body again and again and again. It took everything in him to calm his wildly beating heart and to make sense of the reality before him.

He gulped, forcing the shaking in his limbs to die down, to appear as normal as ever.

"And I don’t think you going to Kastor’s is such a good idea," Laurent added.

"Huh? Why?"

"Face it, Damen, it hasn’t gone well each time you visited him. Every visit so far has made you miserable. Haven’t you noticed by now? He's been jealous of you all this time. He's manipulating you and he knows it works because you're always so gullible!"

Damen's expression twisted.

"Wow, thanks!" he exclaimed angrily. "Because you're being better lately? What is wrong with you? Ever since you've had that nightmare, you've been in such a foul mood! I've been trying to understand, but you keep pushing me away! And now you bring Kastor in all of this in hope to make me angry or something? It won't work!"

Shit! Damen had seen right through it...

"I’m only stating the facts," Laurent replied haughtily. "I'm bringing him up because I'm tired of you getting stomped on your feet. It's about high time someone make you realise what your brother's really like. Nikandros tried to warn you gently, but apparently, you won’t listen to reason, so I might as well be blunt about it."

Damen clenched his teeth before he took a long breath and released it slowly.

"No, even if you're telling the truth, something's up. This isn't about Kastor and I can tell. Laurent, did you have a vision? Did you see someone getting hurt?"

Laurent schooled his expression in the most neutral and unimpressed one he could muster. There was no way he would let Damen know.

"No," he said, more calmly than he had in this entire conversation. "I'm just trying to look out for you and you won't let me."

And he pushed his way out of the study before he left the house, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

When he returned much later, the whole house was plunged in darkness. Laurent wondered for a moment if Damen had gone out as well, maybe went to see Kastor today instead of tomorrow out of spite. That would have been fine with Laurent, however, meaning Damen would have changed fate.

But Damen was simply in their room, playing video games in the dark.

When he slipped inside the bedroom, Laurent didn't flick the light open. He merely settled into the bed, hugging Damen's waist tightly, hiding the remorse and fear latched onto his features.

"I'm sorry," he whispered loud enough for the both to hear.

Damen sighed loudly, and for a while, he didn't move. Laurent thought he might ignore him, but Damen had apparently been debating what to do because he slapped his console shut and put it on the nightstand before laying down, returning the hug.

"For the record, I'm still mad," Damen grumbled.

Somehow, it brought a light smile to Laurent's lips. It was a little sad, mind you, but it was a smile nonetheless.

"I know," he answered. "And you have every right to be. I just... I've been super stressed lately and I took it out on you. That's not right, I know."

"Damn right it's not," Damen muttered before he released another sigh. "But if you're stressed, Laurent, you can tell me and I'll understand! I can't really guess what you're going through. And you know you can talk to me, I just want to help. It doesn't even have to be me, as long as it helps you..."

Silence followed his plea for a little while.

"I've cancelled my plans for the library tomorrow," Laurent said, changing the subject.

He knew it irritated Damen, could feel it in the way he shifted, but Laurent just couldn't bring himself to say anything. Not until it was all done and Damen was safe.

"How about we go somewhere together tomorrow morning? Maybe eat breakfast at that bakery you like so much?"

Now that Laurent had recalled his vision in its entirety, he'd made plans while he was gone. If he got Damen away from that place where he got hit until the time he'd seen both on the clock and his cellphone was gone, then Damen was sure to stay alive. So he'd planned a date for the both of them, one that made sure they didn't use the path Damen had when they'd met up in his vision.

Laurent felt Damen's hand reaching for his neck, massaging it gently, playing with the strands there. Laurent leaned into the touch gratefully, wondering how Damen could be so good to him despite everything.

"That would be nice," Damen whispered back.

"And then we could take a stroll around until we have to get to college."

"Is it your way of apologizing?"

"Is it working?"

Damen chuckled, the sound light and easy. Laurent's heart both swelled and bled at the sound of it. He was hoping so, so hard that this would work. He'd never tried so vehemently to undo one of his visions. Even with August and his father, he'd abandoned at some point.

He didn't want it to be the last time he heard Damen's laugh. He didn't want their last experience to be a fight between them. He didn't want to have to say goodbye.

"Might be," Damen admitted.

With relief, Laurent allowed himself to smile in Damen's neck.

"Good."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we had the Regent. Hope the way I brought him wasn't too weird. I just thought it was the best role for him in this story.
> 
> Also, the thing with Kastor isn't really a plot point, so even if you ask about it, I won't be able to answer, because I decided that I had no idea xD
> 
> Thank you for the comments and kudos and bookmarks, they're all super appreciated :D


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long! I'm going to be unoriginal and say that life got a hold of me, lol. Hope you can forgive me and enjoy this next chapter!

"Thank you for breakfast," Damen said, kissing Laurent's cheek quickly.

Laurent smiled at the genuine sweetness of it. Sometimes, he still couldn't believe Damen had stayed in his life and he couldn't help but think he didn't deserve the man.

They were currently taking their time roaming in the streets, Laurent aware of the path they were taking, making sure they stayed far from the bus stop in his vision.

He took Damen's hand into his and leaned into his boyfriend a little, enjoying the warmth he emitted. Damen was like a furnace, which Laurent took advantage of all the time, seeing as he was always cold.

"You’re welcome. Since we have a little time left, was there somewhere you wanted to be?" Laurent asked, already thinking about the map in his head to plan different routes.

"We could go to the park," Damen suggested, smiling.

He was obviously happy. It didn't take much to make Damen happy. Which only added to the man's perfection.

Laurent made a mental note of all the streets that led to the park and all the ones that went from the park to college. They were clear.

With a nod, he followed his boyfriend to a few blocks away where a small park stood between buildings. Parents were already there with their toddlers, elders were either walking around or sitting on benches talking. It was a lively place as well as a breath of fresh air in the city filled with apartment blocks and houses almost glued to each other.

Laurent and Damen walked to the path meant for pedestrians and cyclists. Laurent adjusted his backpack for more comfort, enjoying the silence that settled between them as they watched the scenery. They'd known each other so long; by now that they didn't need words anymore.

"Oh shit, wait!" Damen suddenly exclaimed, reaching for his bag and rummaging through it.

He did so for a while before he stopped with a defeated sigh.

"Damn, I knew I left the house with a bad feeling. I forgot my homework at home and it's worth twenty percent, so I can't just leave it there. I'll go get it. You don't have to come, though. I'll meet you at college, all right?"

Damen kissed Laurent's cheek.

"Thanks for breakfast again. See you later!"

And with that, he was gone, breaking into a jog to go back home quickly.

Dazed, not having the time to truly process what had just happened, Laurent watched Damen's figure turn around the corner of an apartment block before the panic settled in.

Hard.

The fastest way to get back home from the park was the same intersection Damen got hit in Laurent's vision.

"No..." Laurent whispered.

He broke into a run, determined to catch up with Damen and make sure he at least took another path. The thing was, however, that Damen was a skilled runner, contrary to Laurent who had enough stamina to follow, but not go as fast. And when Laurent rounded the same corner he'd watched Damen turn, Damen was already at the end of the street.

Desperate, Laurent pushed himself, ignoring the burning in his lungs and the pain in his sides.

Why did things have to turn sour? He had planned everything! He had been ahead of fate, he even asked Damen that morning if he forgot anything! Hadn’t Laurent checked Damen’s bag as well, put that homework himself in it?!

"Damen!" Laurent cried out, hoping to be heard.

But Damen didn't turn around.

He was so stupid, Laurent was so fucking stupid! Why did he have to freeze when Damen mentioned getting his homework? Why couldn't he have said _we'll go together_ or better yet, _I'll go get it for you, part of the apology_?! This would have saved him the problem, would have made sure that Damen avoided the crossroad!

But no, Laurent just had to watch Damen in a daze as he ran off. Stupid, just stupid!

Sometimes, he hated how Damen rendered him unable to think!

"Damen, wait up!" he tried again in desperation.

He knew people were looking at him, some regarding him weirdly. He knew how he looked and he didn't care. He had, however, the urge to snap at them to help him instead of standing there doing nothing. That would be more productive of their time instead of judging him.

But Laurent didn't. He didn't have the time to start a fight and he wanted to keep his energy and make sure he caught up with Damen.

He ran, despite his legs starting to scream at how hard he was pushing them, despite how hard he was breathing - the fright of losing Damen was far stronger.

And as he ran, Laurent was vaguely aware of the background noise, concentrating a little on each one of them in a force of habit. The giant screen above a shop displaying the news of the day, describing how there had been a violent fire the previous day in one of the nearest neighbourhoods. The idle and annoying chitchat of the people waiting for the bus, a girl wearing a revealing red dress laughing obnoxiously. The sound of a police car far off in the distance, probably chasing after someone.

"Damen, Damen please!" he screamed again, "Dam-!"

Laurent had been pushing people out of his way or avoiding them as he ran, but he suddenly slammed into someone, knocking him off his feet. That was when he realised where he was and saw Damen approaching the pedestrian light to cross the street.

Feeling like his heart was about to explode, Laurent scrambled to his feet and watched as Damen briefly checked the numbers almost turning to zero and shrugging it off knowing he would cross it before any cars could arrive. Laurent felt his blood turn suddenly cold as the light turned green for the cars and saw one already speeding turn the corner and head for the street light Damen ran across.

Laurent felt like he would throw up. He couldn't let this happen, not again!  
  
" ** _DAMEN!!!!_ "**

This time, Damen heard him and slowed down considerably to turn towards the source of the sound of his name. At the very same moment, his eyes turned briefly horrified before the car hit him. It sent Damen flying and Laurent was rooted to the spot as he watched Damen’s body land on the ground like a ragged doll, motionless once he did.

Laurent felt himself shutting down. He wasn't aware his legs took off on their own, wasn't aware of the way he pushed everyone trying to get to Damen. He only came to once he threw himself to the ground next to Damen, gathering the latter into his arms carefully, shaking in horror at how broken he looked and how much blood he was quickly losing.

"No... No no no no no..." Laurent whispered, hand resting on Damen's cheek, frantically caressing it in an attempt to wake him. "Damen, Damen please, you can't! Damen wake up!"

"You know, if you'd said nothing when you saw him crossing the street, you might have actually pulled this whole thing off!"

Laurent looked up, tears welling in his eyes, to realize that everything around him had turned gray and the whole world had stopped, except for himself and the demon now standing before him.

The words hit him like a fist and Laurent was left breathless.

This was his fault. If he'd let Damen cross the street, if he hadn't panicked, Damen would still be alive and well. Laurent had been the one to kill him!

What had he done?!

"Poor, poor nephew. Completely alone in this world because he cursed every member of his family, and now he did his lover too... or well, almost."

Laurent had turned his head back towards Damen, the tears shed freely now as he wallowed in remorse, but he lifted his head quickly at the Regent's words, a frown of confusion added to his expression of sorrow.

"What do you mean?" he asked, clutching Damen closer to himself.

"Can't you hear it? Tick tock tick tock.... It's the sound of your dear beloved fading away!"

Laurent was about to snap for his uncle to get on with it, when the words suddenly clicked. Fading away? Then this meant that...

Damen wasn't dead yet?

"Ding ding ding! We have a winner! Good to know you can still keep up nephew." The Regent smiled wickedly. "My offer still stands! I can save him. With a price, of course."

Laurent's soul for Damen's. The choice wasn't hard to make. Laurent was cursing everyone he knew around him. Everyone died. Damen didn't deserve that, not in the least. He deserved to live, to have a happy life with someone who loved him with all his heart, who didn't have constant doubts, who didn't have strong issues with relationships and trust.

Yes, the choice wasn't hard to make at all. So why did Laurent feel guilty just thinking of it? Why could he hear Damen yelling at him that this was the stupidest choice he could ever make?

"Well, no offence, but it's clearly only in your head."

Laurent glared at the Regent before returning his attention to Damen, his heart stopping painfully every time he gazed at how broken his boyfriend looked.

Laurent wasn't ready to say goodbye. He wanted more time, wanted to say all that he couldn't before, wanted to make up for all the time he'd been hard on Damen. He wanted them to stay together forever. Especially if Damen would be forgetting about Laurent once he moved on. Because he would. Why would he even remember such a dark person that once had been in his life?

"Tick tock, nephew! I'm not going to hold this forever and the offer has an expiration time. I suggest you choose quickly before I decide to leave!"

Laurent shut his eyes tightly before he kissed Damen's forehead and laid him on the ground. He turned his sole attention back to the Regent and glared at him.

"Very well, I accept your deal."

The Regent's crooked smile turned wicked as he approached Laurent.

"Excellent! Those are words I like to hear! And just to be on the safe side…"

A parchment appeared right in front of Laurent, floating in the air with magic. A quill poofed right next to it and prickled Laurent’s finger, drawing blood from it as Laurent stopped himself hard from wincing at the unexpected wound.

“Just sign right here. That way, there will be no misunderstandings between us.”

Laurent squinted at the parchment in front of him, hating to sign anything that he could not take the time to read. He tried to, his eyes quickly scanning the words like _recipient will give up their soul in exchange for the safety of…_

“Tick tock!”

Laurent watched in horror as the contract started to disappear and he had no choice but to sign. He grabbed the quill and wrote his name on the doted line in bright red letters that sent a disgusted chill down his spine.

The contract poofed away in the Regent’s hand and the latter smirked evilly, leaning next to Laurent. The latter glared, preparing himself mentally to leave this world so soon. He didn't look back at Damen in fear of faltering.

"Get on with it!" Laurent spat.

The Regent grabbed Laurent's chin forcefully and lifted his head so that their faces were close enough to each feel the other's breath.

"Oh no, not just yet. You see, I like to say about myself that I'm a lenient and kind man."

Laurent snorted, but his uncle ignored him.

"I'll allow you a month with your dear beloved. That way, you can say your goodbyes, just like you wanted, and you won't come kicking and screaming in Hell because it will have been your choice and you will have closure. Let's say it's for old times' sake."

Laurent eyed the Regent suspiciously. He knew his uncle, he always had a plan in his mind, as well as thousands of others in backup. This sudden generosity didn't make sense.

"Don’t try to rack your brain too much, sweetheart. I mean, what more could you possibly lose besides your soul?"

The Regent extended his hand and another copy of the contract appeared in front of Laurent. His mind twirling, thinking that if his uncle was so confident to leave him with a copy of the contract, it meant that he was certain no loopholes could be found.

He grabbed it and quickly folded it before placing it into his pocket. His uncle chuckled darkly, going to Damen to heal him.

"Might as well leave him with a shallow cut on the head and a mild concussion. People will ask less questions and it'll prevent you from having to find an excuse as to how he ended up completely fine."

Laurent snarled, fists clenching.

"You bastard!" he exclaimed.

But as he did, the Regent disappeared.

The world retrieved its colors and the people around began to move again. As Laurent lowered his head, he saw Damen in much better shape, members all in place and bones looking whole instead of in complete pieces.

Damen groaned, lifting a hand to his face. That was when Laurent was torn from his thoughts and he reached for his boyfriend, resting the latter on his lap for better comfort.

"Damen!" he exclaimed with so much relief.

Damen was alive. He was really here, among the living, and he would be fine!

At the cost of Laurent leaving him in a month...

But Laurent would rather not think about it now. Instead, he concentrated on Damen who, despite being alive, was still injured.

"Don't move," Laurent pressed on with gentleness as tears of relief rolled down his cheeks. "You might be badly hurt and I'm pretty sure an ambulance is coming so you have to stay still until they arrive."

Damen groaned again, attempted to open his eyes, but winced and shut them back instead.

"W-what happened?"

"You were hit by a car. I... it's my fault. If I hadn't called out your name you wouldn't have stopped and..."

A hand on Laurent's cheek stopped him and he saw how Damen strained himself just to reassure him. Laurent grabbed the hand, enjoyed its warmth for a brief second before he placed it back on Damen's chest. Laurent then lowered himself so that he could lay his forehead on Damen's.

"I'm sorry," Laurent whispered. "I'm sorry, I love you, I'm sorry, I love you..."

And he repeated it, like a mantra, until the ambulance arrived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you have it! Damen survived (of course), at the price of Laurent's soul. And now the fun begins! 
> 
> Writing Laurent is such a challenge, but one that I find so thrilling! He's so calculative and I have to wrack my brain so hard, but I enjoy it so much. Hope you find it as entertaining to read as I find it to write :)
> 
> Don't hesitate to tell me what you think :D
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

They brought Damen to urgent care to examine him and make various tests to see what his state was, so Laurent was left sitting in the waiting room, completely alone with his thoughts. Which was not a good idea in itself.

The longer he waited, the more doubts he came to have. What if the demon had completely lied and hadn't healed Damen at all so that he could trick Laurent and get his soul? That would be something Laurent's uncle would do.

Or what if it had all been a hallucination? A scene his mind created to better deal with the fact that Damen was not going to make it? What if Laurent had gone completely mad already?

Laurent began to panic and could feel his breathing getting faster and harsher. He needed something to do or he wouldn't make it until the doctors came to deliver the news about Damen's state.

He suddenly remembered that he should probably contact Nikandros. Damen's best friend would want to know about the latter's accident and probably be there as well.

Controlling his shaky hands, Laurent rummaged through Damen's belongings the hospital staff had left with him to take care of all the papers he'd handed over back at the receptionist a while ago. He found Damen's cellphone and searched for Nikandros' contact information. He forced his hands to steady themselves in order not to drop the phone.

The phone went to voicemails a few times, which Laurent was both thankful and irritated for. He never left a message, not wanting to. It gave him something to do to try calling over and over.

He finally got hold of Nikandros and told him about the accident and what hospital they were currently into. Nikandros dropped everything to meet him in the waiting area.

It was awkward as he came to sit beside Laurent, he could feel it. But Laurent didn't show it. Having someone else near pushed him to take back control of himself.

He didn’t need the pity.

"Hey erh... I came as fast as I could," Nikandros said, unsure if he should offer comfort, be it emotionally or physically.

The barrier around Laurent only grew as he felt it. He hadn't called Nikandros to be comforted, he'd called him so that he could know about Damen's situation and be there for his best friend. Damen would want the support.

"Thank you," Laurent simply answered, looking away, body as tight as a string.

Nikandros sighed in frustration, opened his mouth to say something, but closed it and shook his head with a long-suffering sigh instead. He stood and started pacing, which gave Laurent a headache.

"Still don't got any news?" Nikandros asked, looking at the doors leading to urgent care.

"If I had, I would have told you already."

"Gee thanks..."

The sarcasm was dripping from his tone.

He began to pace again. Unable to take it anymore, Laurent explained how the accident happened to distract them both. He hadn't mentioned that part over the phone.

"There was a car being chased by the police. Damen, like the idiot he is, was crossing the pedestrian light a little too late. Though, to be fair," and Laurent chuckled bitterly at that, "I'm pretty sure the car wouldn't have cared if the pedestrian light just came on. It was going so fast..."

Laurent's hands tightened against the fabric of his pants, the only sign of his inner fighting.

"He might have made it, but I called out to him and he stopped long enough to be hit. If I'd stayed quiet, I'm pretty sure he would've had enough time to cross the street without any incident."

The silence that followed was even more uncomfortable, Nikandros watching Laurent intently, probably unnerved by the detached tone he’d used.

Before he could say anything, a doctor exited the doors leading to urgent care and approached Laurent and Nikandros. They looked up in expectation, Laurent's heart beating loudly in his chest, the need to throw up getting stronger.

"Mister Roy?"

Laurent nodded, bracing himself.

"Damianos is fine. We've conducted all the tests needed and the only things we could find were bruises, a shallow cut and a mild concussion. He'll need to stay a day here in observation just in case, but other than that, he was truly very lucky. He'll be sore for a while, but he’ll more than survive this whole ordeal."

The sigh of relief that escaped from Nikandros was huge, resonating with Laurent’s own relief. He could feel the nausea leaving him and his heart relaxing.

The demon had done its job.

He really had a month left…

"May I see him now?" Laurent asked.

The doctor nodded.

"Yes, you can follow me. However, only close family is allowed for now."

Laurent looked to Nikandros who shook his head.

"It's okay, I'll wait here. Knowing he's fine is enough."

Laurent gave a nod before he turned to follow the doctor through the doors, unsure if he was truly ready to face Damen yet. If Damen had a concussion, then he was bound to be awake. Laurent was unsure of what he could say or do…

"Oh, and Laurent?"

Laurent turned back to Nikandros with a raised eyebrow.

"For what it's worth, I don't think it's your fault at all. I'm pretty sure Damen's gonna say the same thing."

Laurent regarded Nikandros for a moment, before he nodded slowly. He then got through the doors leading to urgent care where Damen would most likely be waiting for him.

* * *

 

They led him to a small corner of the ER, made relatively private thanks to a long curtain. Laurent rounded it and stopped dead the moment he saw Damen in the bed, bandage covering his head, others covering what must have been scrapes on his arms. Probably elsewhere too, but he was covered in a light cotton sheet, so Laurent couldn't tell for sure.

At the sound of footsteps, Damen slowly opened his eyes and lazily smiled at Laurent, his gaze hazy, certainly from drugs they gave him for the pain. Laurent took a breath, feeling so much he could not exactly pinpoint which emotions exactly were demanding attention inside him.

He chose to bristle and glare, just glare at Damen, not wanting to explode right here and there when there were people around.

He didn't even want Damen to see him explode. He just couldn't.

Damen's smile faltered a little and Laurent sensed guilt added to the melting pot of emotions boiling in his stomach. He couldn't and wouldn't cry, even if it was of relief.

"You _moron_ ," Laurent hissed, approaching in strides, grabbing one of Damen's hands in his own, squeezing it tightly, the only gesture and slip of control he would allow himself.

"It's good to see you too," Damen replied tiredly.

"What were you thinking, crossing the street when there was barely enough time for you to even make it? See what happens when you do that?!"

Never mind the fact that Laurent knew with certainty that it was his fault. If he hadn't called Damen's name, none of it would have happened, even if Nikandros said otherwise. But Laurent couldn't bring himself to say it again.

"I'm sorry."

God, Damen knew it was Laurent’s fault. And yet, he still found it in him to apologize when Laurent should be the one to. What had Laurent ever done to deserve that big doofus of a heart?

"I just thought I had time," Damen explained. "I usually run fast enough."

Laurent squeezed Damen's hand tighter.

"You almost..."

He couldn't bring himself to say it, the words stuck in his throat. He could still see himself covered in Damen's blood, could still imagine vividly the way Damen's body was broken all over as if he were a shattered puppet, could still feel the absence of a pulse on him.

Laurent had to force himself not to pale, not to gulp, not to fidget.

"Hey," Damen called out softly, eyes searching Laurent's.

Right. Despite controlling himself, Damen always seemed to read Laurent like an open book. It was unnerving.

"I'm alive, I'm right here. I'm not even hurt that badly. They should release me soon. You don't have to be afraid."

Oh, but Laurent was afraid. He was terrified. He'd done a deal with a demon, a demon that had once been his uncle, which made it all the worse. Damen had almost died and, now, Laurent would be the one to die in his place, in a month or so. That was so little time. Laurent had thought he would at least get to live most of his life with Damen.

_He didn't want to die._

Instead, Laurent let go of Damen's hand and retreated by standing up, closing himself off. He scoffed.

"I'm not afraid," he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Damen frowned. Then something seemed to click in his eyes.

"You saw me die."

It took every ounce of Laurent's control not to panic at the words. It took him a moment to understand that Damen was speaking of his visions.

Laurent turned his head away. Better for Damen to think about his visions than what horrible deeds he had done instead.

"You did. That's what your nightmare was about. You watched me die in your visions," Damen whispered, careful not to be overheard since the only thing giving them privacy was a curtain.

Laurent remained silent, but it was enough for Damen.

"Why didn't you say anything? You've been suffering this whole time! We could've shared the burden!"

"So you could what, suffer as well and worry over your death for two whole weeks? I'm sorry to have wanted to spare you the thoughts of your impending doom, because if you hadn't understood from my previous experiences, it always happens regardless."

"But it didn't happen this time. I'm alive! And me knowing, we could have searched for ways to avoid it! Hell, I could even have stayed home today instead!"

"Don't you think I did that? Besides, I couldn't even remember what my vision was about until yesterday. But when I did, I planned everything to get you to live! Why do you think I asked you not to go see Kastor? Why do you think I tried getting you as far away as possible from that road all morning? And despite all that, you still went there. Despite all that, you still got hit!"

_Despite all that, you died!_

"And you doing all that changed things! I'm alive, even if I was hit! This means that trying to change your visions works in the person's favour!"

_No! No it doesn't. It changed only because I made a deal you will forever hate me for. If not, you would be dead by now!_

But Laurent couldn't say that. He wanted his last remaining month to be worry free and that included Damen not fretting over him.

"And how was I supposed to know that? It never happened before, even when I tried to change things with my father and Auguste."

Damen sighed softly before he extended his hand towards Laurent.

"Laurent, come here," he beckoned.

Laurent only stiffened up, refusing to be touched. If he did, the comfort Damen would offer him would make him break down and there was no way Laurent would lose his control in a place like this.

"No," he retorted with a glare.

Damen watched him calmly before placing his hand back on his chest, nodding in understanding.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to make you feel that way."

Briefly, Laurent closed his eyes, cursing himself for the way he was. For the umpteenth time, Laurent wondered why Damen even bothered to stay with him when Laurent only managed to hurt him.

Besides, Laurent didn't want to be fighting. He didn't want to fight with Damen anymore. He had a month left, which was too short. He had to make the most of it.

Slowly, making sure Damen would not reach out, Laurent approached the bed once again. He sat on the chair near it and toyed with a corner of the cover.

Silence settled between the two for a while. After some time, Damen closed his eyes back, probably to get back to sleep. That was when Laurent spoke up, although he suspected Damen was not asleep yet.

"I'm glad you're alive," Laurent whispered.

Without opening his eyes, Damen smiled a little sadly.

"Me too. Can I... touch your hand now?"

As an answer, Laurent squeezed Damen's hand in his.

* * *

 

Their bed felt way too empty that night. Laurent lay on his back in the dark, staring at the ceiling, unable to go to sleep. Images of his day unveiled in front of his eyes one by one, preventing him from getting any sleep.

He turned over on his side and placed a hand in the spot Damen usually slept in. Laurent grabbed the covers tightly and burrowed his head in them, inhaling their scent - Damen's scent. Despite being a little reassuring, it wasn't enough. The dam pushing his emotions back was too fragile and the more he thought, the more it cracked.

At some point, he broke. He allowed himself this loss of control since he was completely alone, in the dark, with no one to see.

He cried the loss of Damen he experienced and almost got to be true. He sobbed at the way he closed off in front of Damen, the one who didn't deserve his masks anymore, of all people. He shook in fright at the idea of what was waiting for him at the end of the month, wondering how it would unfold. Would he die a painful death, or would it happen silently? Would Damen even realise it, or would Laurent disappear from existence, as if he were never born?

For a moment, Laurent wished it would be the latter so that Damen wouldn't have to suffer.

He let the tears flow until he was able to calm down completely, feeling exhausted, but apparently not enough – or maybe too much – to go to sleep.

For the rest of the night, he did what he did best: he planned the whole month, what he and Damen should do together, how they should spend their time. He made a list of the things that needed to be tended, of any unfinished business that would need closure. He made sure to have back up plans in case Damen began to ask too many questions.

Laurent would enjoy the most of his time and he would make sure Damen knew how much Laurent loved him. He would also make sure Damen was left with none of Laurent’s business.

After everything he would put Damen through, that was the least he could do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More and more angst! Yay~! What has Laurent in store for Damen for that whole month? Wonders wonders, ha ha!
> 
> By the way, that Roy surname... I know we mostly give Laurent "De Vere" as a surname usually, but here in Quebec (not sure about France, probably), Roy, pronounced Ro-ah, is a rather common surname. If you didn't know, it's sort of another way to write "roi" (in ancient times lol), which means king. I thought it was fitting.
> 
> Once again, thank you for all the kudos and comments, they mean everything to me :D


End file.
